The Only Salve for a Broken Heart - by Becky Hatfield

Matthew 18:21-22

 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seven times seventy times. 

The first time I heard the song 7x70 by Chris August on the radio, I was already almost home. But it was definitely one of those, “I’m going to sit in my driveway and hear the rest of this” kind of songs. The story in the song drew me in with heart-breaking accuracy. Not because it’s a story I’ve experienced, but because I’ve sat and cried with so many that have.

In the song, Chris talks about the heartbreaking reality that many people face today: broken families.

I’ve sat and cried with friends as they’ve dealt with fathers leaving their families flat. I’ve talked with kids who have numbly told about their parents splitting up - their calm exterior belying the broken heart inside their chest. Each time I hear another heart-rending story of how someone has been hurt by their family, I realize once again that this is not the way things were supposed to be.

The first social institution that God ever created was family. It was smiled upon by our Father in heaven and meant to be a place of safety, comfort, and love. But since sin entered the world, families have often become the very opposite. It only took one generation: Adam and Eve’s son Cain murdered his brother Abel. And thousands of years later, relationships with family members still can be some of the most treacherous and hurtful relationships in our lives.

The thing I love most about Chris August’s song is that he doesn’t just talk about the hurt; he also talks about the healing that comes with true forgiveness from the heart.

When someone hurts us, it’s like they stick a fishhook in our heart, and they’re still holding the fishing pole. The longer that hook stays in our heart, the more likely we are to have an infection called bitterness form inside of us. This infection makes us see the world through darkened glasses. We become cynical. And while we think holding onto the bitterness is the only way to see justice come to the one who hurt us, it’s actually hurting us way more than its hurting them.

Forgiveness is like taking that hook out of our heart and saying that that person no longer has power to hurt us.  And only when we forgive can we allow Jesus to come in and clean out the infection that has taken place.  Forgiveness is the only way to be free.*

 When Jesus told Peter that he was to forgive his brother or sister seven times seventy times for wronging him, He knew our stubborn human hearts.  He knows how hard it is to forgive when we are wronged.  But He also knows the huge harm that comes to us if we don’t.  He made this command for our good, freedom, and healing.

To put it into perspective, how many times over has Jesus forgiven us?  How many times have we been ashamed to share His name with a friend, used His name in vain, or shunned spending time with Him?  He forgave us so we can forgive others. 

 My heart breaks as I write this blog post.  So many hurtful stories of families splitting and hurting one another ring in my ear – how many more ring in my Heavenly Father’s ears?  He is ever so mindful of each and every situation that I hear of.  But as I write this, I am also so thankful that He has provided us a way to live free of bondage to bitterness.  It is my hope and prayer that if you are hurting inside because someone has their hook in you, that today you would experience the power of forgiveness.

*This analogy comes from author and speaker, Dave Park